Don't Cry For Me Argentina [Maxi Single] by Madonna

Pros: Great track, love the castanets!

Cons: A bit repetitive

Review: Hail the castanets! The clackety little guys are the heart and soul of the great remixes that comprise the maxi-single for "Don't Cry for me Argentina."

Now, Madonna may not be the first person to belt out this song, but no one else...

Pros: When sung in the film, it can be ranked just under "atrocious."

Cons: It's still Madonna. And it's Madonna ruining some sort of classic song. Byack.

The Bottom Line: There is no bottom line. Madonna has gone far beyond her "bottom line." Or anyone's "bottom line" for that matter.

Review: As a reviewer of all things rock, punk rock, folk, folk rock, power pop, pop punk, alternative rock, indie rock, acoustic rock, and any other variations of those particular genres, I recognize that you may be asking yourself "Why Shaky Jake...why are you ...